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I am Not Afraid to Die – Life is What Scares Me

By July 25, 2012blog

-Susan Underwood, Island Stage Founder/CEO

I am not afraid to die. Life is what scares me.

My husband uttered these words when we first learned of the shooting in Colorado on July 20, 2012. When I heard him say these words, it shook me to the core. I understood what he meant by this statement. I felt his soul.

I think this is hell. When we die, we go to a better place

Now I am really trippin’. This is not the “norm”. Usually, I am the expressive one, the sensitive one. I was speechless as I listened to my husband of 20 years speak.

We had just watched the news about the senseless violence and killing of innocent people at a movie theater in Aurora, Colorado. A young man walked into a packed # 9 theater in full protective body armor, complete with gas mask, tear gas, an AR-15 assault rifle, a 12-gauge shotgun and a Glock .40-caliber handgun and 6,000 rounds of ammunition. As if that wasn’t enough, we had just been updated on Syria, Sudan, Mali and Somalia. In between all of this, we get the political “gun slinging” commercials that are saturating the airwaves, the fall of economies all over Europe and America, global warming and complete and utter dysfunction of our U.S. congress.

I begin to wonder, are we as a society getting numb? When we see these images and hear what is happening all over the world, how do we really feel? It is almost unbelievable, like just another violent show on television. It has nothing to do with us, right? It took this horrible event in “our neighborhood, Aurora” to spark a small show of solidarity from politicians and from people as a whole. How long will it last? How long did it take for “us” to go back to “business as usual” after 911? What about the Virginia Tech shootings? Or, maybe we can recall the shootings a year ago in Arizona?

Don’t even get me started on the gun control debate! Yeah, yeah I understand that “guns don’t kill people, people kill people.” I also understand that former president Bill Clinton is the only one who seemed to have the balls (yeah, I said it) to address and ban the ability to purchase assault weapons. By the way, the ban that President Clinton signed into law recently expired. Now anyone can go on line and purchase the array of assault weapons and ammunition used by the Colorado shooter last Friday. I was very disappointed that our current president, Barack Obama recently stated that he did not feel that now is the time to address the gun laws, and that the “existing law based on 2nd amendment rights cover it. He got a wholehearted “amen” from his rival Mitt Romney and even from the speaker of the house. To be fair, I did hear just today that the whitehouse would be looking into “loopholes” within the existing law.

I love our current president, but I want to see him get bolder. I do not want to feel like he is succumbing to the gun lobbyists, right along with everyone else. I want to see him get people fired up, do the so called “unpopular thing” rally the rebels. I want to see that he really is not a typical politician.

Where am I going with this “rant”? And remember, this is MY rant. I am not asking anyone to either agree or disagree with me. I am trying to spark a conversation; one that I feel we must have! I am worried about what it will take to change our culture. What sort of tragedy has to take place for human beings to wake up? I have grandchildren now, and I am deeply concerned about what we doing to their future.

Within my circle of friends and associates, America and it’s way of life is referred to as “Babylon”. To explain, the reference to Babylon, it is the rejection of western society, called Babylon (from the metaphorical Babylon of the Christian New Testament). We proclaim Africa (also known as “Zion”) as the original birthplace of mankind, and from the beginning of the movement the call to repatriation to Africa is a central theme. We say “Babylon is falling”. Is there any other way to see it? Look around you.


Yes, I do still believe!
What if we wanted to change? What if we all agreed that the most important thing to us is each other, our children and grandchildren and their futures? What if we realized that we are really One? What if we saw ourselves in each and every human being that we encounter? What if we realize how important we are? What if we loved each other despite our differences? Do we as human beings hold the power to change the world? Can we fix what is broken? Or is it inevitable that we will continue to move towards a horrible transition? What will it take to change us, to wake us up and realize our true selves?

You know, as great as computer technology is, it is only as good as the human input allows it to be. We need to realize the “input” we are getting as a society; as the human race, is not right. We need to refuse the lies and propaganda. Refuse the negative. Refuse the hatred and violence. Refuse the mind control. Turn off the television. Get away from the computer and start to love each other face to face. Re-boot. Change the program. Allow only light and love in. Help those who need help.

Can we change the world? Well, can we?

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